


|Call Me|

by Chikihatesyou



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Angst, Bad Flirting, Bad Pickup Lines, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Comedy, F/F, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gen, Highschool AU, Humour, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Romance, Texting, alternative universe, hes also emo af, katie holt - Freeform, keith is a lonely loser, keith kogane - Freeform, klance, lance is annoying af and everyone has wanted to murder him on atleast one occasion, lance is secretly a five year old, lance mcclain - Freeform, shiro is a Dad, shitty parents, ya girl has no idea how to tag oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 13:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15730221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikihatesyou/pseuds/Chikihatesyou
Summary: "Are you clinically insane or just incredibly annoying?""I don't know, probably both."-Lance never intended to accidentally message a complete stranger, but in the end, he didn't intend to fall in love with him either.





	1. Chapter 1

-

 

Lancerdancer69: roses are red 

 

Lancerdancer69: violets are blue

 

Lancerdancer69: girl you are hotter then a firestyle   
jutsu

 

Whyamihere:....and who the fuck are you.

 

Lancerdancer69: Please, I'm sorry Allura I know I messed up and I want to make it right

 

Whyamihere: is this how you usually pick up girls or something? With pickup lines you probably stole from quora?

 

Lancerdancer69: Allura?

 

Whyamihere: Just as a outsiders perspective, I don't really think pickup lines is how you apologise to someone but ok

 

Whyamihere: what did you do? Cheat? 

 

Lancerdancer69: I know it's you Allura, please don't try and hide from me

 

Whyamihere: Fuckin hell, I'm not your goddamn girlfriend 

 

Whyamihere: do you want me to tell you in your umm...language? Huh? Okay.

 

Whyamihere: roses are red, violets are blue, would you mind if I ran over you?

 

Whyamihere: ^^^ that's probably what your girlfriend is thinking about you right now 

 

Whyamihere: translated to your language 

 

Lancerdancer69: dude oh my god I'm so sorry

 

Lancerdancer69: I thought this was my girls Instagram acc

 

Whyamihere: how in the world did you end up thinking that?

 

Whyamihere: you know what don't answer that, I don't wanna know why I remind you of your ex girlfriend

 

Lancerdancer69: she's not my ex dudeeee!!

 

Whyamihere: ...

 

Whyamihere: k

 

Lancerdancer69: seriously! We're just arguing is all

 

Whyamihere: no, I believe you I just don't really care 

 

Lancerdancer69: ...I think I'll just brush that one off

 

Whyamihere: seriously, you need to learn how to apologise convincingly

 

Whyamihere: like "girl your as hot as a firestyle jutsu."??? Really?? What does that even mean.

 

Lancerdancer69: hey! Don't shatter the poor guys ego! :(

 

Lancerdancer69: why are you so rude? 

 

Lancerdancer69: I'm just trying to be friendly

 

Whyamihere: I have no interest in talking to strangers on the internet, or anyone for that matter thanks 

 

Lancerdancer69: wow you sound really emo

 

Whyamihere: no I don't

 

Lancerdancer69: yeah you do

 

Whyamihere: no I don't 

 

Lancerdancer69: yeah you do

 

Whyamihere: NO I DONT

 

Lancerdancer69: so what do you look like? Omg I didn't realise you could be really hot or something 

 

Whyamihere: why are you still talking to me 

 

Lancerdancer69: cuz 

 

Lancerdancer69: roses are red, violets are blue, who are you? I have no clue. 

 

Lancerdancer69: you could be a 50 year old man for all I know dude

 

Lancerdancer69: help me out hereeee!

 

Whyamihere: fine, my name begins with b, my middle name starts with b, my last name starts with b, I wear a yellow striped sweater, and I like politics.

 

Lancerdancer69:... you just described Barry bee benson

 

Whyamihere: yup, you've been talking to a bee this whole time

 

Whyamihere: this is what happens when you talk to strangers on the internet lancerdancer69

 

Lancerdancer69: :(

 

Lancerdancer69: ill introduce MYSELF then

 

Lancerdancer69: My names lance, I'm 16, I have 3 siblings, and I'm the best thing you'll ever meet ;)

 

Whyamihere: i highly doubt that

 

Whyamihere: anyway, since I don't wanna tell you my name so call me K I guess..? I just turned 15 and yeah.

 

Lancerdancer69: oh! What school do you go to? 

 

Whyamihere: Galra high school..?

 

Lancerdancer69: dude...

Lancerdancer69: IM GOING TO THAT SCHOOL!!

 

Lancerdancer69: It's gonna be my first day there on Wednesday!

 

Whyamihere: g r e a t

 

Lancerdancer69: I should look out for you! What do you look like? What's your name even??

 

Whyamihere: hold your horses

 

Whyamihere: I ain't telling you shit boi 

 

Lancerdancer69: I know your emo but come on!!

 

Whyamihere: I DONT wanna get involved with anyone

 

Lancerdancer69: why not? I ain't gonna bite

 

Whyamihere: I just...can't trust anyone

 

Lancerdancer69: okay..?

 

Lancerdancer69: I'll leave you alone...But THIS ISNT THE LAST YOUVE SEEN OF ME SIR

 

Lancerdancer69: ILL FIND YOU OUT

 

Lancerdancer69 : AND TRACK YOU DOWN

 

Lancerdancer69: AND and....idk kill you or something?

 

Whyamihere: k..? Whatever, you do know I'm like five seconds away from blocking you right?

 

Lancerdancer69: ...WHATEVER EMO >:(

 

Whyamihere: bye..?

 

-


	2. Don’t trust strangers on the internet kids

-  
Lancerdancer69: Welcome to ur daily text from lance, what would you like to do with this file?

 

Whyamihere: unsubscribe

 

Lancerdancer69: YOU WANNA FITE???

 

Whyamihere: not really no

 

Lancerdancer69: yeah me neither 

 

Whyamihere: anyway so why are you doing moving to a different school anyway? 

 

Lancerdancer69: oh, so now you want to talk?

 

Whyamihere: well yeah I guess, ugh well it's not like your that bad jeez

 

Whyamihere: I'm just trying to make conversation 

 

Lancerdancer69: awwwwh <3

 

Lancerdancer69: you've learnt so much from your  father...

 

Lancerdancer69: I'm so proud of you son

 

Whyamihere: fuck off

 

Lancerdancer69: lmao anyway me and my family moved, our old house wasnt...that stable let's say

 

Whyamihere: ah

 

Whyamihere: I understand 

 

Lancerdancer69: yeah lol, and I'm finally going to school tomorrow, so that'll be fun! Btw can I at least get a hint of who you are?? Pls?????

 

Whyamihere: nope

 

Lancerdancer69: that's okay! I'll find out who you are on my own. >:)

 

Whyamihere: totally lance :)

 

Lancerdancer69: omg did you just smile over text??

 

Lancerdancer69: that's adorable!!

 

Whyamihere: >:(

 

Lancerdancer69: nooo smiley K!!

 

Whyamihere: >:(

 

Lancerdancer69: do it again! :D

 

Whyamihere: >:(

 

Lancerdancer69: ..I'm never seeing you smile am I?

 

Whyamihere: nope

 

Whyamihere: you can fuck right off

 

Whyamihere: oh, and by the way, I was meaning to ask you, what happened with you and your girlfriend? 

 

Lancerdancer69: ugh, it's a long story tbh

 

Lancerdancer69: But basically, she caught a girl giving me her number, and she got upset even though it wasn't like I asked for the girls numberrrrr. Ughhhh and now she won't talk to me!

 

Whyamihere: that wasn't a long story

 

Lancerdancer69: really..? That's all you have to say?

 

Whyamihere: yup

 

Whyamihere: besides the fact that your a dumbass

 

Lancerdancer69: but I didn't even do anything..? Is it really my fault? Am I just an idiot?

 

Whyamihere: no it's not your fault, it's just the fact you thought I own your ex's Instagram account and think pickup lines were a good approach to me

 

Whyamihere: I mean, really?

 

Lancerdancer69: SHES NOT MY EX

 

Lancerdancer69: also you follow all of the celebrities she likes! And my buddy said she follows you on here and that you could be her based on where your location is

 

Whyamihere: How the hell did your friend find out my location? That's not even amusing at this point. Just creepy.

 

Lancerdancer69: lol she can hack! Isn't that cool?

 

Whyamihere: ....no

 

Lancerdancer69: I think it is lmao. I should ask you, what's the school like? Do you enjoy it there?

 

Whyamihere: hahahahhahahhahhahahahhahahahhahaahhahahhahhahaha

 

Whyamihere: fuck no

 

Whyamihere its horrible 

 

Whyamihere: also, just a quick tip.....bring your own lunch...

 

Lancerdancer69: what why?

 

Whyamihere: the uhh...cafeteria chef is a bit....you know what? Never mind. Just trust me on this one 

 

Lancerdancer69: okay...?

 

Lancerdancer69: should I be...worried?

 

Whyamihere: pfft of course not 

 

Whyamihere: this is the best school in the area

 

Whyamihere: totally not the most looked down upon place in the town

 

Whyamihere: also you could get pickpocketed on the way if you walk there, so maybe bring a weapon

 

Lancerdancer69: WHAT

 

Whyamihere: just kidding

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof I hope this doesn’t suck. :,)


	3. Satan has one fine ass

-

Lancerdancer69: are you Satan?? Cuz damn boy that ass is on fire

 

Whyamihere: are we ever going to stop starting all our conversations with ironic pickup lines?

 

Lancerdancer69: wait...

 

Lancerdancer69: they were supposed to be ironic?

 

Whyamihere: Lance you literally just said my ass is on fire

 

Lancerdancer69: and..?

 

Whyamihere: ....

 

Whyamihere: you know what never mind 

 

Whyamihere: your coming to school tomorrow right?

 

Lancerdancer69: yup! It's gonna be way easy to recognise you.

 

Whyamihere: hm, and how is that exactly?

 

Lancerdancer69: oh, I'm sure it won't be that hard. I just have to look for some loser hiding in a corner smoking or something

 

Whyamihere: well all I'll have to do is look for some dude calling some poor girl a fire jutsu

 

Lancerdancer69: THAT WAS ONE TIME!!

 

Lancerdancer69: all you have to do is look for a pretty boy with blue eyes ;)

 

Whyamihere: pretty people don't have their girlfriends breaking up with them every five seconds last time I checked 

 

Lancerdancer69: hey!

 

Lancerdancer69: that's actually rude :(

 

Lancerdancer69: what's your deal anyway?

 

Whyamihere: do we have to talk about this? 

 

Lancerdancer69: no seriously, why can't you just trust me?

 

Whyamihere: please don't bring this up lance

 

Lancerdancer69: Why do you push me away? I'm being friendly!

 

Whyamihere: dont

 

Lancerdancer69: are you just trying to be edgy or something?

 

Whyamihere: lance

 

Lancerdancer69: to look cool?

 

Whyamihere: for hell sake, can you be any more fucking aggressive? 

 

Lancerdancer69: ...

 

Lancerdancer69: sorry

 

Whyamihere: that's what I thought 

 

Lancerdancer69: I shouldn't have um, mentioned anything 

 

Whyamihere: do you seriously expect me to trust you? I barely know anything about you.

 

Lancerdancer69: true...I guess everyone opens up at different speeds huh? I shouldn't pressure you, that was uh..wrong of me.

 

Whyamihere: it's okay I guess. I don't blame you for getting frustrated with me.... Anyway, do you know what classes you're in yet? You're coming tomorrow in the end.

 

Lancerdancer69: yeah. I got emailed. Apparently my main classes are algebra, geometry, biology, and chemistry. Which sounds alright to me I guess.

 

Whyamihere: oh fuck

 

Whyamihere: you're in 3 of my classes

 

Whyamihere: ughhhhh

 

Whyamihere: why

 

Lancerdancer69: Yay!! :D

 

Lancerdancer69: which ones??

 

Whyamihere: hell no why would I tell you that??

 

Lancerdancer69: Cuz you're absolutely in love with me

 

Whyamihere: oh, yeah for sure

 

Whyamihere: you're like, seriously so hot. Ah! Fuck me harder lance.

 

Lancerdancer69: yup! That's exactly what you'll be thinking when you meet me

 

Whyamihere: totally

 

Lancerdancer69: bet

 

Whyamihere: uh-huh

 

Lancerdancer69: ...

Whyamihere: ...

 

Whyamihere: are you done being egotistical now?

 

Lancerdancer69: Pfft whatever

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thank you all so much for the support! It means a lot. :)  
> As always, constructive criticism is welcome! <3


End file.
